Friends

Confucius say...

Friends are like butt cheeks.
Crap might separate them,
But they always come back together.

____________________________________________________________________________________
Building a website is a piece of cake. Yahoo! Small Business gives you all the tools to get online.
http://smallbusiness.yahoo.com/webhosting

I sure don't think I'm in Georgia anymore Eustace...

Things I have learned, again

Thing One

Tbilisi. Yes, yes, it does sound like a sneeze. You are pronouncing it correctly. I, on the other hand, am more than likely not spelling it properly. Anyways... Tbilisi. It's in Georgia. But it's really really really fricking far from Atlanta. Don't accidentally book your flight here. It's kind of like the Georgia you know but in a really very scary alternate reality. Okay, not really. But there are a ton of bottle blonds who wear far too much makeup there. So it sort of is.

THing two

Nothing kills a good breakfast buffet in the Middle East quite like Ramadan. Trust me.

THing Three

A proper bra really is the most important part of your outfit. Mom is right. Get the girls in line, kids. NObody likes a straggler!

Thing four

The hotel staff at nearly all hotels on any continent in the world will give you the exact same mocking look if you call them to fix your hairdryer and they arrive only to the find that the only problem your hairdryer has is that you are too stupid to push the On button properly. It's truly amazing how you can understand that you are being called a silly dumbass by nearly anyone in any country with just a look. And they say the language barrier is such a problem. I beg to differ!


Okay, kids. That's all for now. Peace out home fries.

e

Yet another reason I have not yet disowned my oldest sister

There are many reasons why you should disown various family members. All of them are valid. Trust me. But today I am feeling positive. So instead of the litany I will, instead, provide you with this little gem that my big sis sent to me today.

I rear ended a car this morning...
I knew it was going to be a REALLY bad day.
The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!
He looked up at me and said, "I am NOT happy".
I said, "Well, which one ARE you then?"
That's when the fight started!!!

SO, Lisa, you can stay. But don't press your luck! Love is, after all, rather finite.

xoxo
e
p.s. And if you send me the midget slave with any more stupid piercings...DEALS OFF!!

I Love wd 40! Do you?

200 glorious uses for WD 40 (or is it nectar of gods?)
I think my personal favorite use is Removes lipstick from carpets
that's 120 for you lazy people

of course Removes rollerblade marks from kitchen floor is also a personal favorite...

Choose your favorite and happy lubrication!

1. Use to loosen rusty nuts and screws, clean garden tools
2. Cleans piano keys
3. Keeps wicker chairs from squeaking
4. Lubricates small rolling toys
5. Keeps garden tools rust-free
6. Cleans patio door glide strip
7. Removes crayon from clothes dryer (make sure to unplug dryer first)
8. Removes scuff marks from ceramic tile floor
9. Keeps metal wind chimes rust-free
10. Removes crayon from walls
11. Helps join plastic shelving to make disassembly easier
12. Removes water spots from mirrors
13. Lubricates hinge on pruning shears
14. Lubricates screws on lawn furniture
15. Lubricates hydraulic rams on slideout of 5th wheel
16. Cleans fiberglass bathtubs
17. Cleans and prevents rust on oil tank exterior
18. Cleans and protects bed of wheelbarrows
19. Prevents rust on swamp cooler nuts
20. Removes tea stains from countertops
21. Removes crayon from wallpaper
22. Lubricates gate locks
23. Removes crayon from carpet
24. Removes tape marks from the wall where posters hung
25. Shines leaves of artificial houseplants
26. Keeps snow from sticking to shovel
27. Removes coffee stains on floor tiles
28. Keeps hose ends from corroding
29. Lubricates moving parts on playground equipment
30. Removes crayon from plastic
31. Removes decals from bathtubs
32. Removes old cellophane tape
33. Removes crayon from shoes
34. Cleans ashtrays
35. Removes crayon from toys
36. Cleans and protects underside of cast iron skillets
37. Removes ink from carpet
38. Keeps garden plant cages bright and rust free
39. Cleans lawnmower blades
40. Cleans and protects antique kitchen tools
41. Prevents mildew growth on fountain
42. Removes marks from floors left by chair feet
43. Removes crayon from chalk boards
44. Eliminates static on volume and tuning control knobs
45. Cleans candle soot
46. Removes ink from blue jeans
47. Cleans residue on luggage handles
48. Cleans old muffin tins
49. Cleans and protects pruning shears
50. Cleans gold-plated faucets
51. Removes petroleum stains from clothing
52. Keeps sewing needles from rusting
53. Removes Kool-Aid stains from carpet and fabric
54. Removes gunk from plastic dish-drainer
55. Lubricates kitchen sink handheld spray nozzle
56. Removes rust from curtain rods
57. Removes adhesive from precious china
58. Cleans bottoms of pots and pans
59. Helps prevent rust on hide-a-key containers
60. Cleans vinyl garage doors
61. Cleans doggie doo from tennis shoes
62. Removes gunk when replacing old faucets
63. Cleans and protects medicine door latches
64. Protects wrought iron from rust
65. Removes tomato stains from clothes
66. Prevents rust from forming on washing machines
67. Keeps metal wire screens rust free
68. Removes blue baked-on acrylic cover shields from acrylic windows
69. Preventative maintenance on cooking burner
70. Removes coffee stains from leather
71. Protects electric pump on furnace
72. Removes ink stains from leather
73. Prevents corrosion on copper parts of fountain
74. Lubricates folding parts of ironing board
75. Removes rust from chair feet
76. Cleans and polishes gold and brass lamps
77. Removes adhesive price tag from shoe bottoms
78. Keeps trigger on glue gun from sticking
79. Cleans bed frame
80. Protects shower heads from rust
81. Protects silver from blackening
82. Lubricates external pivots on lawnmowers
83. Keeps blades from rusting on garden plow
84. Cleans black streaks from hardwood floors
85. Protects inner machinery in toilet against corrosion
86. Removes paint from tile flooring
87. Protects hand trowels from corrosion
88. Cleans and protects pitchforks
89. Lubricates screen channels upon installation of rubber bead
90. Removes rust stains from bathroom tubs
91. Cleans metal figurines
92. Shines shower doors
93. Protects patio door from sun damage
94. Cleans mildew from refrigerator gasket
95. Helps clean rust from wire shelves
96. Cleans newspaper ink from tables
97. Removes rust stains from floor after mopping
98. Cleans and protects TV antenna
99. Removes gum from wallpaper
100. Penetrates and frees stuck toilet shutoff valve
101. Spray on rototiller blades to prevent rust during off-season
102. Cleans melted vacuum belt from carpeting
103. Removes crayon from television screen
104. Lubricates zippers on lawn mower grass catcher bags
105. Cleans gunk from chain saws
106. Prevents rust on metal patio chairs
107. Removes crayon marks from glass
108. Camouflages scratches in cultured marble
109. Removes berry stains from patio furniture
110. Removes gum stuck to concrete
111. Cleans heavy dirt from shovels
112. Cleans rust from metal exterior of speakers
113. Coat outside pipes during winter to help prevent freezing damage or pipe bursts
114. Removes glue deposits from linoleum
115. Lubricates hinges on antique smoking stand
116. Removes masking tape residue from linoleum
117. Cleans gunk built up on doorknobs
118. Removes stickers from credit cards
119. Cleans smoke stains
120. Removes lipstick from carpet
121. Lubricates metal latches on chain link fences
122. Removes melted scotch tape from dining room table
123. Removes stains from coffee cups
124. Removes crayon from screen doors
125. Removes crayon from plastic tables
126. Removes oil stains from nylon
127. Spray on hula hoe swivels to clean & prevent corrosion
128. Lubricates air holes before inserting hand air pump nozzle onto tires
129. Keeps lawnmower wheels turning smoothly
130. Keeps plant supports from rusting
131. Removes gum from linoleum floor
132. Removes strawberry stains from countertops
133. Removes tar from shovels
134. Keeps plant hangers from rusting
135. Removes mascara from tile floors
136. Erases marks caused by chair backs on running boards of wall
137. Spray on silverware during unused periods to prevent tarnishing
138. Clean black marks from shoes off the floor
139. Removes labels from medicine bottles
140. Removes wax from shoes
141. Cleans chair wheels
142. Cleans window sills
143. Protects snow shovels from the effects of salt
144. Cleans and protects washer lid
145. Prevents corrosion on outdoor light fixtures
146. Removes felt pen marks from floor
147. Loosens valve stems on lawnmower tires
148. Removes gum from aluminum siding
149. Removes wax from vinyl surfaces
150. Lubricates mixer gears
151. Removes rollerblade marks from kitchen floor
152. Adds moisture to and preserves ivory and bone items
153. Keeps lawn mower carburetors free of gunk
154. Removes Velcro stickers
155. Polishes away scratches on countertops
156. Lubricates vacuum cleaner roller brush
157. Cleans gunk from base of toilet bowl
158. Lubricates runners on porch glider
159. Cleans roofing tar off circular saw blades
160. Protects exposed metal parts on snow blowers
161. Removes sticker residue from clothes
162. Removes gum from flagpoles
163. Keeps clay from sticking to shovels
164. Prevents rake from rusting
165. Removes laundry detergent stain from washer
166. Polishes splash guards
167. Cleans crayon off of rock walls
168. Lubricates ball valve handle on sprinkler system
169. Lubricates return springs on riding lawnmowers
170. Keeps kitty-doo from sticking to electric cat-box rakes
171. Removes dried toothpaste stains
172. Removes silly putty from furniture
173. Cleans lime stains from toilet bowls
174. Spray on bottom 6 inches of wooden patio table to prevent mildew build up
175. Removes glue from refrigerator
176. Helps clean showers
177. Cleans build up on hedge trimmers
178. Lubricates gardening shears
179. Cleans dog hair from sliding door rollers
180. Removes marks-a-lot ink from most items
181. Removes rust from cookie tins
182. Keeps flower pots from sticking together when stacked in storage
183. Removes gum from dryer lint screen
184. Cleans tar from rubber water hoses
185. Removes scuff marks from lawn furniture
186. Removes rust stains from tile floors
187. Lubricates lever on razor scraper
188. Removes lipstick from fabric
189. Cleans and lubricates the rubber surrounds on stereo sub woofers
190. Spray down drain throat to remove scum
191. Removes crayon from place mats
192. Removes stubborn body oils and shampoo residue from bath mats
193. Spray around bottom of garbage cans to prevent animals from getting in
194. Removes oxidation from aluminum window frames
195. Polishes and protects brass candlesticks
196. Cleans music racks
197. Cleans peanut butter from shoestrings
198. Cleans and protects blades of pruning shears
199. Cleans wood planter bed
200. Cleans scum from rubber gloves

Please visit Wise Bread