World Airways Commercial from 1985 starring George Burns

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Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Ah Sweet Release!!!

Ah sweet mother of God!!! That free air sure is swell. I, Erika, am officially released from this very expensive 5 star prison in Frankfurt Germany! Iknow, I know, there are worse places to be imprisoned, but really! Can you afford to live off of the mini bar and room service for 3 days? I thinkI mortgaged my future first born son for some chocolate covered macadamia nuts in a sleeping drug haze last night. Does it count if you were under the influence?

I am released back to the skies as of tomorrow morning. If you love someone let them fly, that´s what I say. As my wings are still clipped for the day I will have to amuse myself hopping about the ground. ButI will not spend another grey Frankfurt day cooped up in my gilded cubby hole. I am off to drink gluwein at the christmas markets and visit a museum. Wait, can´t you die or something by mixing antibiotics with alcohol? Oh well, it will have been worth it. Free at last! Kind of.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

The best of plans they go astray

I had such good intentions, really. I was all buffered up and rearing to go last night. A perfectly pharmaceutically enhanced sense of well being. I was ready to get a good nights sleep and take on the world sick or not sick. Health be damned.

I turned out the lights. I didn´t sleep. I gave up. I turned them back on. I did sudoku puzzles. UNTIL 9AM! Then I got tired. Then I slept until 5:30pm. And woke up sick again.

As I said the best of intentions...

Monday, November 28, 2005

Stupid Stupid Stupid

I am stupid stupid stupid. For a smart person that is. I am engrossed in a novel called ´´The Satanic Verses´´by Salman Rushdie. I was scheduled to be headed to the middle east today. Luckily I got sick instead. As my doctor was examining me he looks over and reminds me that they don´t exactly like Rushdie in the Middle East. They have been threatening to kill him for ages, actually. And, this should go without saying to a Jewish middle eastern bound flight attendant, they really don´t much like his books in their countries. Can you say duh?

Sick Sucks in Frankfurt

Hey kids! I am sick in Frankfurt Germany. I am positive it is the dreaded bird flu but my lovely German doctor refuses to agree. He says that it is a boring old upper respiratory infection accompanied by fever and blocked ears. How boring is that!

So, as I am confined to a hotel and have no brand new adventures to share I will tell you a story from last week entitled:

Airplane Pillow Fight: The Thanksgiving 2005 Surprise Attack

Well, that´s it. I highly reccomend engaging in one on your next international flight. And make sure you nail the flight attendant as many times as possible in her cute little noggin.
As this war took place on the way to San Antonio from Ireland with soldiers going home for the holiday, you might think that they would be tired of battle but you would be wrong. They were way into it. I just feel terrible for the aircraft cleaners as the plane was littered with pillow carnage with no surface left untouched. Those pillows, they died for a cause.

Rest In Peace (Piece)

Happy Holidays...

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Cooking Fish in the Bathroom a la Ross

Sunday evening Ross cooked my little sister Gabrielle and I fish in the bathroom. Yes, in the bathroom. He used his "Set it and forget it'' rotisserie. And I must say, it was good. But the bathroom reaked! It smelled, well, like fish. And nine out of ten people would agree that ones bathrrom should never smell like fish. I mean if it was a popular bathrrom smell wouldn't someone bottle it? We would have bathroom fish air freshener and bathroom fish candles. But no, these things do not exist and hopefully never will. And too make matters even odder the fish had eyeballs. Imagine this if you will. A couple of perfect looking red snapper twirling round and round in a stinky metal box in your bathroom. You can pee and marinate dinner all at the same time. It really does bring new meaning to the term multi-tasking and, for that matter, marinating.

Ross is a truly 'special' man. And he makes a mean fish!

Tuesday, November 01, 2005


Why eat your food when you can play with it's decapitated remains? At the open air market this adorned the top of a food stand. I wonder what they were selling? And where can I get some nifty shades? Posted by Picasa

As I was walking to the open air market in Catania Italy yesterday I was suddenly found myself staring dumbfounded through the window of a store only to be bombarded with this strange display window. And I think that they were selling bathrooms. Who knew about the whole bondage bathroom conection. Posted by Picasa

This is a little number I like to call FLight Attendants Behaving Oddly. 16hrs on an airplane is enough to give anyone a touch of the old crazy. I just arrived in Virginia from Sicily. We stopped along the way to pick up more people in different countries and all in all 16hrs passed. Posted by Picasa

This is the Storm King Gap on the Hudson River as viewed from the public lands across the street from our house. Posted by Picasa

I don't think that you have met my dog yet. Well say hello to Princess! She's crazy and she bites but we still love her. And no, we did not name her. Ross and I would never give a dog such a common name. he prefers Ostinato and I prefer Hurdy Gurdy. Please pity our future children. Posted by Picasa