World Airways Commercial from 1985 starring George Burns

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Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Personal Lows

Recently I have reached many personal lows. I spent 35 hours on the same aircraft. Imagine, if you will, 35 hours on that lovely airplane clad completely in polyester. Nylons, uniform, you name it. It was polyester. Not exactly a traveling fabric. It doesn't breathe. WHat a smell. And all to arrive home from Bahrain 24hours early.

On arrival to the US I decided that I had not worn my polyester nearly enough so I wore it a few more hours and flew home to visit the fam in Syracuse NY. Of course, on arrival in Syracuse I wore it out to dinner with daddy. WHat's a few more hours in the polyester between friends.

And if we're going to talk about cleanliness lows achieved, we might as well cover my blue jeans. I have been wearing them nearly everyday since february 25. Without laundering them. In fact, I have them on right now. Last night I took them off to go to bed onlhy to realize that they no longer required unbuttoning to remove. And those of you who know me should realize that that is no small feat. I have an enormous ass.

On the train ride home from Syracuse yesterday I had an enlightening talk with mama dukes. She reminded me that I went through a supremely unclean faze lasting from about 8-10 grade. She told me I wore the same pair of pants for the better part of all three of those years and mostly slept in them to avoid the early rising on school days.

I don't remember this, but would mom lie?

SO in close I will leave you with a recreated transcript of a conversation with Ross I had the other day in Syracuse. Hew was annoyed because I hadn't come home.

Me: Are you mad at me?

Ross: Yes!

m: Why?

R: You're not here!

m: i come home tomorrow. Will you be mad at me then?

r: Yes!

m: Why?

R: Because I will have known that you weren't here yesterday!

princess said: "Woof! wOOF!" and then farted


And that is my life today, in a nut shell.

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