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Thursday, June 08, 2006

Fluffy Schmutzer, Yurts and Snot

As you probably know, I want another dog. As you also
probably know, I do things a little backward. I chose
the doggie name well before I chose the doggy.
Really, it makes things much easier. You can't name a
dog Fluffy Schmutzer and then get a dog that isn't
fluffy, can you? Or maybe you could if you had a deep
and abiding love of blatant irony. But in any event,
I think that there is a lot of power in a name. I also
think that Fluffy Schmutzer imbues only nice dog
qualities. Any dog that seems to live up to that name
is going to be good.

Ross and I found the PERFECT Fluffy Schmutzer. She is
old. NO spring chicken certainly. She is a sheepdog
terrier mix. Can you imagine those two getting it on?
Insane looking, I imagine.

Fluffy Schmutzer is afraid of doors. SHe does not
like them unless they are firmly shut or perfectly
open. NO half way for her. SHe just barks at them or
won't come near them. She has gas. It smells so
wrong. WHat in the name of all that is holy is in her
food! And what breath! THere are hardly words. But
she is loveable and cuddly and has big eyes.

In family tradition, I considered naming her Pork
Chop. But as all of the family Pork Chops didn't end
too well I gave her a more hopeful names. Let's just
say that my older sister and her children (Shane and
Destiny) have a way with cats.
Enough said.

On to Yurts.

I have decided that Ross and I should live in a Yurt.
I love them. WOuldn't it be so much fun to invite
your friends and family over to visit your Yurt?
Dinner at the Yurt? Christmas in the Yurt. YOu get
the idea. Everyone should live in a Yurt. I think
that I should start a Yurt City. I'll call it Yurt
City. Please visit
People so you, too, can fall in love with a Yurt. You
canbe my name in Yurt City. We'll all have dinner
parties and barbecues at our Yurts. You'll all be

And lastly, we must talk about snot. I am sick. In
the head, yes but that isn't at all what I am
referring to. I have a virus. Or at least that is
what the doctor says. I was sure that it was the
Dreaded Logi, but he stubbornly refuses to diagnose.
I tried, wholeheartedly in fact, to convince him that
I did indeed have the Dreaded Logi and taht the only
cure was to not go back to work until fall. Everyone
knows that the only proven cure for the DL is to take
the summer off! But alas. He said that my snot is
simply not the right color. It isn't green enough.
Damn snot! Who else can you politely discuss snot with
anyways. I think that it is a truly underutilized
conversation tidbit. Go on kids, talk about you snot.
Don't be afraid of the snot. THe doctor does it.

By the way, I have lots of it going on today, but
mines mostly clear not green meaning no dreaded logi

I'd love to invite you all over, but alas, I am
contagious. So you all must stay away.

p.s. When ROss told me that I put the HO into Hotel,
that was a compliment, right?

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