World Airways Commercial from 1985 starring George Burns

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Saturday, December 09, 2006

Improbable Running Injuries

Okay, I have a serious shiner. My left eye is turning colors I find hard to color coordinate the rest of my outfits around. And it's getting harder and harder to be fashionable these days. Of course, it doesn't help that I can't lift my left arm high enough to change my own shirt without serious pain. Oh and let me tell you about trying to put on a bra. Not so easy one handed, boys. I know that you are all so proud of your ability to take em off that way, but I offer up to you a challenge. Try putting a bra on one handed. Impossible, as far as I can tell.

How, you might ask, do I come to find myself in this sorry state? Well, I know this is hard to believe, but this is a running injury. Yes, running...not cliff diving or mountain climbing. Not sky diving or scuba diving. Running. Who knew physical fitness was so dangerous!

So, Ross and I ran errands today. We hit the grocery store, the laundromat and had lunch. And although my purple eye garnered quite a few stares, I am kind of upset that no one tried to stage an intervention or even ask me about it. You see, I have all kinds of stories to explain it. Like, “My boyfriend hits me. Can you make him stop?” or maybe “ Dude that chick was big and mean but you should see what I did to her face!” But no, no opportunity arose. No one asked. On the bright side, Ross did receive a few nasty glares. But no one offered to beat him up for me.

Maybe next time.

I am, of course, keeping a full day by day pictorial journal of the colors that my left eye is to achieve. I hope you enjoy the pics as much as I do. It's my first black eye!

Ross's response to my injuries, as those who know him might imagine, is to militantly require that I wear a full football helmet on all future runs. He also has decided that it would be best for me to live in a fully Nerf covered dwelling.

But I think that mom said it best when she she said “Erika, honey, you really shouldn't run with your head. It's more an activity that involves feet.”

But if I listened to mom, then how would I be possibly the only person ever to sustain a black eye and knock themselves unconscious as a result of a running injury?

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1 comment:

fersht (compliments of Google word verification) said...

lmao! I hope all is better now. Just for the record, if I would have seen you two at lunch- I'd have tried to slip you a secret note asking if you needed help and giving you the location of an undercover vehicle around the corner, as a means of maintaining your future safety and further anonymity. Or at least I would have come up with this plan whilst devouring the food on my plate and realizing this would never work because A)I don't have enough balls B)There isn't a shot in hell of me pulling off the last part, as all my connections with said vehicles (top secret government vans and the like) are purely fictitious. And,
C)In the end, I would have undoubtedly concluded that this was probably just an accidental injury, but would have nevertheless glared at your Ross just in case.
So hey, have a little hope- maybe a couple of people had the same plan as I did. Or maybe I need to stop drinking coffee well into the afternoon.