World Airways Commercial from 1985 starring George Burns

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Tuesday, January 09, 2007

things that ross doesn't know about ross

I would like to devote this post to things that Ross doesn't know about Ross: Or more correctly, things that Ross doesn't know about his date and/or month of birth, which happens to be February 14th. Yes, he is my funny valentine.

Thing 1: Ross is really rather lucky. Not only is his birthday Valentines day, but more importantly it is both Ferris Wheel Day and National Heart to Heart Day. Screw Valentines Day! Who needs it? Not Ross, that's for sure!

I have to assume that someone somewhere cares about either of these holidays. I, unfortunately, do not.

Thing 2: February is also National Grapefruit Month. Why is it called a grapefruit anyways. It is not a grape, not at all., I am confused. But Ross, he is most certainly a fruit.

Thing 3: Oh, don't you go forgetting National Snack Food Month. No, this would not do. Certainly not!

Thing 4: Oh, let us not forget National Canned Food Month! Where would we be without that. This might go a long way in explaining Ross's obscene addiction to Chef Boyardee food like products. I mean, why else would anyone eat that dog food smelling sodium paste shit. Yes, I see, I see. Hm. Maybe now I can begin to forgive. Or, maybe not. I mean, ahev you smelled that shit? Sardines, these I can forgive. But Chef Boyardee? I think not!

Yes, this post is a product of extreme jet lag. I make no apologies.

Peace out.

e

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