World Airways Commercial from 1985 starring George Burns

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Monday, January 29, 2007

Large Ass

It has come to my attention that I have a really large ass. We are talking an ass off collosal proportions, here. I guess this comes as no real surprise to those who know me well. But I must say, it often comes as a rude shock to me.

Okay, I am done bitching. As you lovely ladies out there can probably guess, I have been jeans shopping again. Actually, I have been jeans shopping rather consistently for nearly 2 straight months! I AM SO SICK OF SHOPPING FOR JEANS!!!

Always, I have unexpectedly found a new favorite pair ay exactly the right moment that my older favorite pair was falling to shreads around my ankles. This works for me, it really does. I don't like making decisions. For instance, my current favorite pair happened to already be waiting for me in a consignmrnt shop in Santa Monica just off the promenade. I wasn't even looking for jeans! Some girl had tried them on for herself and left them discarded over a rickety old chair in the dressing room.

I guess her ass was just too small for them. (God, I love saying that!)

But those lovely dark wash, low rise, boot cut, well worn, masterpieces of denim artistry have more holes than swiss cheese. Even their patches need patches, for god's sake!

What is an international flight attendant girl to do? Jeans are, undoubtedly, the most important part of my packing regimin. One pair must be perfect for every occasion! They must dress up well, they have to know how to slum with the best of em.

Help me, please! My legs are lonely and cold. It's just too damn cold out for dresses!

4 comments:

gabs said...

Erika, I recommend leggings. Not the ankleless spandex bycicle pants your thinking of, but the sweater-like leggings that go from ankle to theigh. Then you can wear your dresses, and keep your legs nice and toasty.

"..I'm a maniac... maniac, thats for sure.."

gabs said...

Leg warmers!!! thats what they're called! Yeah!

YoMamaLubya said...

I have a CAR. I live in FLORIDA. I can wear dresses again, woo hoo!!! AND my legs stay warm. Try it!!!

lubya

mom

Erika said...

Leg warmers. Oh yeah, you are so the fashion queen little gabs. You rock my world.

Mom has a car. Weeeeee. So you got that corvette, eh?
e