World Airways Commercial from 1985 starring George Burns


Sunday, March 04, 2007

Things I have Learned This Week

Things I have Learned This Week

It is often said that life is all about learning and that the world is just a enormous classroom full of dunces, or some crap like that. I don't know if I believe that, as I try very hard not to believe in anything much. But if I did suddenly wake up with a sunny new perspective on all things “faith related” and suddenly developed a propensity to believe all sorts of stupid shit, I would be obligated to share with you what I had learned this week, right? I digress:

Things I have Learned This Week

Thing 1: When visiting a thrift store at a monastery that is staffed mostly by drug addicts (yes it's a treatment center) located next to a nun cemetery you probably shouldn't discuss where you live in detail. Of course, this came to me hours after said discussions.

Thing 2: When enjoying a coffee in said drug addict staffed, monastery thrift store and said drug addict calls You crazy, you probably are crazy. They would know, wouldn't they.

(What do you call a rock guitarist out side of rehab? HOMELESS!)

And yes, a drug addict guitarist told me that little gem of a joke! Who new drug addicts had such lovely senses of humor?

Thing 3: When said drug addict guitarist tells you that you are addicted to books and really need to interact with humans more often, he is probably right. He would know, wouldn't he?

Thing 4: Do not watch CSI Miami and try to eat, in the dark. Yuck! Yuck! Yuck! If ever there was a better diet aid, I don't know of it!

Thing 5: If you are a shitty singer on American Idol and you really don't want to get eliminated despite the fact that you suck, take slutty pictures of yourself and make sure that someone ex boyfriend leaks them to the internet!

(For that last one, I can't take the credit. For that little bit of wisdom we must thank Antonella Barba, the evil, talentless, satan spawn that has made me lose faith in the modern singer. And yes, I am a bit jealous.

Although I truly doubt it, (I am a disbelieving hater, after all) some small part of me hopes that I have enriched your lives, at least a little bit. Okay, okay, who am I kidding?

In any event,


1 comment:

Dan Sullivan said...

I'm sure Limerick misses you too.

I'm guessing Leipzig is lacking in "ze much craic having" as the locals might say.

You should check out the to keep up to date with local events, feuds and marriages.