I am currently living in the asshole of satan.
How, you ask, could you possibly know that?
Well, let me tell you, it's not exactly something that you can easily misinterpret. Aside from the "welcome to the asshole of satan" sign that hangs just inside the city limits, there are multiple other give aways.
For instance: The heat. It is about ten thousand degrees here. And it is not a dry heat, let me tell you. It is a sticky, stinky, get in between your ears and screw up your wiring sort of heat. It's that sort of a heat that no rain storm relieves. It never cools off! The heat is as constant at 4 in the morning as it is at 2 in the afternoon.
And the airport! I bet you never thought that satan's asshole had an airport, did you? It's horrifying! A tiny building with out door walkways that are 2 miles long to get to baggage claim and the taxi stand. Now, if it wasn't really satan's asshole the air conditioning would most assuredly work properly here and there would be NO outdoor walk ways as it is typically a zillion degrees outside in the summer. But No!
You see, incontrovertible proof that I am indeed in the asshole of satan. And I thought jews didn't go to hell! Well that sucks!