World Airways Commercial from 1985 starring George Burns

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Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Scandalous Library Visit.

Here's a tip. When visiting your local library to request books from inter library loan. Don't request these books: Erica Jong - Fear of Flying, Maarten Troost - Sex lives of Cannibals, Hollis Gillespie - Bleachy Haired Honky Bitch, Hollis Gillespie - Confessions of a Recovering Slut. Trust me on this. Just don't do it.

The little old man librarian that took my request was simply appalled. There are hardly words. Being old, and slightly deaf, he made me repeat each of these requests about three separate times and then repeated each one back to me in disbelief. As each of these books magically appeared on his computer screen he would laugh shake his head at me and repeat the title yet again. As early evening library rush hour has begun and there are now three mothers with young children standing behind me you can imagine that they did not find it all so amusing. I heard one child ask "What's a honky?"

In retrospect I guess that I could have written these titles down and passed the dear little old man the paper across the desk. But where's the story in that. Yes, I am always looking out for my readers.

19 comments:

drizzlenightsky said...

hmmm...sex lives of cannibals...so do the females bite the men's head off after the uh, deed?

Erika said...

I will let you know. BUt I do know the Macarena features somewhere in there.

athooks said...

Sex Lives of Cannibals- Some of Maya Angelou's finest work. Appreciate the heads up, but generally speaking, perverts hang at the library, so the old man was cool with it, he just has that old man look about him. Ok, off to the book stacks.

Zube Girl said...

Ah, and we are so glad you do! Look out for us that is. :-)

Blog ho said...

you need that Madonna sex book to complete your list.

Erika said...

athooks,

Cool that's where I find the cannibals, or perverts or whatever. I am trying to envision a "Sex lives of cannibals" as written by Maya Angelou. I can't. But oh the pictures in my mind. Are you off to the stacks to do anything naughty, you little pervert? Have fun.

Erika said...

ho,

There's just something about seeing Vanilla Ice naked that just doesn't appeal. And besides, I'd be amazed if the library had it available and I'm much too cheap to buy it. Those coffee table books are crazy expensive and that ones a bit of a classic.

dorna! said...

'Sides wasn't there a big flap about the Madonna sex book falling apart? Shoddy binding or somat.

Erika said...

Dorna!
That sounds oddly familiar. Oh the things we remember and the things we forget. And who wants a cheap looking coffee table tome. Only the best for this house. Not too mention coffee table books take up far too much space in luggage.

The One Your Mother Warned You About said...

Great site!

Erika said...

Thanks Mike. I also enjoy your insane man baby pictures. I hope you get the password issues worked out soon.

Lowell Johnson said...

I expect a ten page report on each title. Now I need to go finish tthe latest Harry Potter with my daughter.

Nickels said...

I'm going to the library to request all those books RIGHT NOW, purely for the reaction! The poor mom having to explain honky - priceless! Thanks for the laugh.

weirsdo said...

I thought Fear of Flying was boring, but I don't know the others. I hope reviews are forthcoming.

Erika said...

I am on a work trip in Asia and I left Fear of Flying at home. Somehow the sex is not that great. Good but not great! I brought Hollis Gillespie`s Confessions of a recovering slut. A girl has to have priorities, right?

Chris said...

I might see if I can pick up a copy of one of those books at the library auxillary's weekly used book sale.

I'm going to ask the blue haired lady if she can save me a copy of Sex Lives of Cannibals, if she comes across one.

Thanks for the great idea!

I'm going to have fun with this one.

Chris
Deliberate Chaos
BA~~32

Erika said...

Please read Hollis Gillespie! She is achingly funny. You must read Bleachy Haried Honky Bitch. You must read Confessions of a recovering slut! YOu will laugh you will cry. SOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOODDDDDD.

P.S. I am in Japan. Pictures to follow

Erika said...

Chris,

Did you get any good books at the fair?

Chris said...

Hi Erika,

I haven't had a chance to go to the book sale yet. I'm planning on running to the library next week because I owe them $18 for a skateboarding book my son lost. While I'm there, I'm going to check the selections. They usually have decent books ranging from 50 cents to $2.00. It's always fun to get a hard cover book or two for an extremely low price.

Chris
Deliberate Chaos
BA~~32