Scandalous Library Visit.

Here's a tip. When visiting your local library to request books from inter library loan. Don't request these books: Erica Jong - Fear of Flying, Maarten Troost - Sex lives of Cannibals, Hollis Gillespie - Bleachy Haired Honky Bitch, Hollis Gillespie - Confessions of a Recovering Slut. Trust me on this. Just don't do it.

The little old man librarian that took my request was simply appalled. There are hardly words. Being old, and slightly deaf, he made me repeat each of these requests about three separate times and then repeated each one back to me in disbelief. As each of these books magically appeared on his computer screen he would laugh shake his head at me and repeat the title yet again. As early evening library rush hour has begun and there are now three mothers with young children standing behind me you can imagine that they did not find it all so amusing. I heard one child ask "What's a honky?"

In retrospect I guess that I could have written these titles down and passed the dear little old man the paper across the desk. But where's the story in that. Yes, I am always looking out for my readers.

Julie and Me on the Homer Spit 

Me in Seward 

Julie in Seward 

Chicken Penny ...Tentiary on the road to Miller's Landing in Seward 

View from outside the Seward Waterfront B&B 

Dumpster words of wisdom in Seward  

Kenai Peninsula 

Clouds over the Kenai River 

Salmon spawning in the Kenai River (I think) 

Weird litttle rode man on the road to Homer ouside of a fair 

Self Portrait in the car 

Homer Self Timer protrait of Julie and Me 

Homer Spit 

Homer  

Julie after the Humpy's half Marathon. Her time is amazing! 

Alaska

After finding myself shuttled between Ireland and the Middle East more times than I cared to remember in August I felt that a mini holiday was in order. So Julie and I traveled on the same airplane for close to 36 travel hours to end up in Anchorage Alaska. Madness, of course, ensued. When we arrived we had no hotel room, plans or transportation and it was cold and raining. Luckily, this was all quickly remedied thanks to S. S is a pilot that doesn't suck. That really says it all about him. He immediately picked us up at the airport in a vehicle he borrowed from a friend, offered us the use of his layover hotel in downtown Anchorage Alaska, took us out for dinner and pints and invited us to hang out as long as we liked. Julie and I LOVE S.

After a great breakfast at Snow City with S the following day Julie and I rented a car and took off on a road trip. We flight attendants always seem to be in the air so a roadtrip is a wonderful novel experience. It rocked! The first day we spent driving to Seward. Oh the mountains! This is also the day that I learned to use the timer mode on my digital camera. For this I do apologize to you. Any pictures of Julie and I were taken this way.We spent the night at a small B&B called the Seward Waterfront. It came complete with breakfast and a huge friendly saint Bernard.

The following day Julie and I jumped back in the car and started out for Homer. It took us most of the day to get there as we seemed to stop every 4 to 6 minutes either to check out some cool viewpoint or for an off road peeing session. It seems that I have a bladder the size of a walnut. But there is much to be said for peeing al fresco. Become one with nature and all that. But in the end it was well worth the drive. Homer is an incredible little town. No visit is complete without a visit to the Salty Dog. Julie and I also experienced the best food of many months in Homer at a small sushi restaurant and bar called Alibi. Alaska sushi is amazing!

The following morning we started out early to get the rental car back to Anchorage in time and sign up for the Humpy's race starting the following morning. As I am no runner this was a bit impulsive, but I wanted the damn t shirt! And since this day my life will never be the same. You see, I discovered Diet Rockstar at the pre race picnic. I don't know how I have managed to live this many lethargic years without it. It is, simply, the nectar of the God's with no sugar and tons of caffeine. It's like rocket fuel for humans. I was bouncing off the walls much of the evening.

After the beauty of Saturday Sunday rolls around cold and raining buckets. I signed up to do what? You mean I have to run a race in this crap? Yes. That would be a yes. I'm no sissy! The race turned out to be really fun in spite of the rain. I only ran a 5K. But Julie and S did the half marathon. And yes, it did rain for the entire 13 miles that they ran. After the race we all hit the hottub with our other friend T who had shown up to cheer us on. Basically we ate amazing food and drank great brew until I left on the red eye out of Anchorage on Monday night. My overall assessment of this trip: It rocked! GO to Alaska!

Ireland in the morning approach into Shannon Airport 

Take Off From Kuwait City, Kuwait. City View. 

In Ireland they tell it like it is

As the title suggests: In Ireland they tell it like it is. For instance, when on obscenely long work trips you are bound to run out of something. Be it toothpaste or be it patience. This time I ran out of shampoo. So, in the name of cleanliness, off I go down to the local five and dime to get some new shampoo. (Oooh how I love unintentional rhyme!) On arrival I am bombarded by the typical fifty thousand different varieties promising to make my hair full, give it volume, make it speak etc...Well, as I am cursed, or is it blessed, with an overabundance of unruly hair, I am always trying to tame it and make it appear neat and clean. This can be a bit of a trial as my hair appears oily easily and is often likely to bust out of any comely prison I can concoct. Now, if you will, picture me standing in front of a never ending immensely tall display. I am on the verge of a full blown pissy panic attack from trying unsuccessfully to find a worthwhile product out of the myriad of useless lying ones. And then suddenly, as if by incantation, my eyes drift to that mystical green bottle that we know so well. Green for Ireland, green for grass, green for, well jello shots maybe. I love jello shots! Yes, my children I found the Herbal Essence bottle with its gentle green glow upon its softly colorful label. I am so relieved I am almost moved to tears. I reach my hand out for that bottle, you know, the one for limp hair. But then I see something odd? It's like an attack on my eyes! It must be joking. No, I guess that shampoo bottles more than likely have little discernible humor. It really is insulting me. It very plainly states that it is for 'GREASY hair'. How rude is that. I don't consider myself a 'greasy' person, would you? Does anybody, in fact consider themselves a greasy person? I think not. I might tend toward the funky occasionally, but what are weekends for, right? But this little bottle is calling me out with all it's talk of grease and implied funk. I look away first. Okay, maybe I spent the last thirty six hours in my funk ridden old pajamas eating room service and not showering. But, but, but...Damn it! I guess I am kind of greasy right now. But I wouldn't say that I am disgusting. This tiny clean bottle with all it's muted colors and promises of many shower orgasms is telling me that I am too disgusting for it. I am ashamed. I want to curl up in a tiny ball or throw myself in the cleansing river waters. You know, just get clean whatever the cost so that I may be worthy of this bottle and its redolent green goodness. But no. It is not to be. I put that little taunter back on it's shelf with all of the other bottles. All of the nice ones. The ones that don't throw casual insults at complete strangers no matter how dirty they may be. And then I bought some Pantene. Cause everybody hates a sanctimonious, know it all, cleansing products.

And they say Kuwait is conservative! Look at the Nips on this dummy! THis lovely decoration adorned the lobby of a hotel in Kuwait. Right next to the women standing around completely covered by abayas. 

Brooke and Me at Nancy O'Grady's in Limerick Ireland living life large. 

Crazy Kuwait and Lovely Limerick

I've spent the last few days flitting about. The sand in Kuwait has been outrageous all in your face with heat like Satans breath. Staying inside seems a terrible waste of a beach, but that sand kills. I wounder if Kuwait will see the sand storm that is to hit Baghdad? Sure feels like it to me. Today I woke up in Ireland. Much cooler. Lovely day. I walked all about and snapped some of the above pictures. Don't you always wonder where the nearest 'False Teath Repair Shop' is located? I know that I do. I can rest easy tonight. Because if my future false teeth fall out while I am in Limerick Ireland I will know just where to go. And they will fix them while you wait! Sounds lovely. Do you think everyone sits about drinking tea? They sure can't chew cookies.

This is the quintessential Erika and Ross picture.  

Bah bah Bahrain

Did you know that you can watch the O.C., Gilmore Girls and Dead Like Me in Bahrain? Well now you do. After 20 or so hours of airport and travel time I am in frying Bahrain. It is about noon and I am still lying about in my pajamas watching bad American sitcoms and movies that went straight to video. I really want to leave but, you see, its about 110 degrees out. And my room is nice and cool. What with air conditioning, internet and room service I have no reason to leave. And 110 is really really hot. Don' t believe all of that crap people tell you about dry heat being so much more tolerable. 110 is really freaking hot. I think that I will have room service deliver my complimentary fruit basket now. Yum.