American Idol Release Form

American Idol has been way on my mind lately. I really hate it for this. I just creeps in every year at the same time and leaves a lingering crusty smell in my mind until spring. And this year it is particularly bad. Some jack ass has pointed out to me that next season (season 7) will be my final chance to audition. I will be 28. And some braniac over at FOX has decided that 28 is obviously the very limit of youthful glow. It makes a girl feel damn old.

Okay, so those of you that know me know how strongly I feel about American Idol. I generally refer o it with the same caustic fear and distrust that I have only reserved for karaoke in the past. MUSICAL PROSTITUTION, I tell you! So I have copied, for you enjoyment and horror, my favorite bits of the release form. This is the form that you are required to sign merely to audition for the damn show. Enjoy!

I understand that I may reveal, and other parties may reveal, information about me that is of a personal, private, embarrassing or unfavorable nature, which information may be factual and/or fictional. I further understand that my appearance, depiction and/or portrayal in the Program may be disparaging, defamatory, embarrassing or of an otherwise unfavorable nature which may expose me to public ridicule, humiliation or condemnation. I acknowledge and agree that Producer shall have the right to (a) include any or all such information and appearances, depictions or portrayals in the Program as edited by Producer in its sole discretion, and (b) to broadcast and otherwise exploit the Program containing any or all such information and appearances, depictions or portrayals in any manner whatsoever in any and all media now known or hereafter devised, or for any other purpose, throughout the universe in perpetuity.

Geesh! Bring on the public ridicule, humiliation and condemnation! BRING IT ON!

Here's to you AMerican Idol! Here's to you!