Sunday, April 02, 2006

Walter

Where can one purchase a plastic three door cabinet, a Walter, fresh honey and a pair of well worn Ugg boots all while visiting with nuns, an enormous cat, and various recovering drug addicts? And they even offer free coffee! As if you needed any further incentive! Can this place truly exist? Can it, you say? I am here to tell you that, yes, it does truly exist and it is a good place. It is an excellent thrift store located on the banks of the Hudson River at a Nunnery. It is staffed by said drug addicts and staffed by recovering drug addicts attending counseling at the retreat center. And it is all lorded over by said enormous cat.

And who could say no to $6 Ugg boots.

I am sure that you are wondering about Walter. Walter is our friend. Walter is our belt. He is our friend that is a belt.

We first met Walter hanging innocuously on a peg at the nunnery drug addict thrift store. Where all of the other belts seemed reticent and quiet, Walter just seemed brimming over with life and leathery goodness. Part of it is his size. Walter is simply enormous in every way. A half inch thick and a million feet long. He doesn't shy away from attention. He revels in it. I mean, if you are going to be a gi-normous brown leather belt with' Walter' spelled out in contrasting rawhide stitching you really have to own it. Or be consumed by it. Walter is proud. So proud, in fact that he proclaims it for all the world to see.

If you are to wear Walter you must do it with pride, not to mention a healthy sense of humor as your ass will then proclaim it for all the world to see.

"WALTER"

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